


My next 30 years

by wanderingsmith



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 06:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3718753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingsmith/pseuds/wanderingsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What the *hell* are you doing in my bathtub??"</p><p>
  <i>sequence of drables...</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	My next 30 years

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.

"What the *hell* are you doing in my bathtub??"

Lee hadn't bothered raising his head from its cushion at the door banging open, and only turned it now to look at his armed intruder with mild annoyance, "They locked me out of my motel room. And thanks to your war, I stank."

Barney stared at him, "..So you broke into my house to have a soak in my tub?"

Lee shrugged, "Yeah." Shivering ostensibly, he raised a brow, "If you're staying, close the fucking door; you're letting all the steam out. You really should set your heat higher, you know." 

\---

"Glad you stayed."

"Um." Barney drowsed in the warm water, head back against Lee's shoulder. "You looked surprised."

Lee's snort made Barney shake. "I was *surprised* that you started to *strip*."

Reminded of watching those familiar eyes darken as they followed his every move, Barney's body rippled slow, skin slick on skin, "You expected me to take a bath wearing clothes?"

"I expected you to sit on the fuckin' toilet and lecture me."

Barney chuckled, too comfortable and finally warm to bother pretending. "I'm not that selfless. Staring at you through water wouldn't have been remotely as good as sitting against you."

\---

The water wasn't half as warm as the man who'd shocked him by dropping his ass between Lee's legs at least as much as he'd surprised Barney by his presence in his tub in the first place. If he had a choice, Lee would stay here, in the warm quiet, with his living breathing -if infuriating- blanket. But the water was chilling and his stomach had recognized that he was in civilization again; and it expected to be fed.

"Barney."

"Um."

"You need to get to bed and I need to find some food. Up."

"I suppose you expect me to feed you, too?"

\---

He'd never admit how many times he'd read himself to sleep with foreign cookbooks; wondering what would appeal to his widely-travelled friend. Or which of the British dishes would actually be tasty enough for Barney not to have to find himself snarking about it.

It was easy enough to think of one he had ingredients for. Onions, defrosted sausages, and a simple dough and he could join Lee sitting on the couch pretending he wasn't falling asleep watching Die Hard.

"They steal your clothes too?"

One of Lee's eyes opened, "Don't like my new style?"

Barney smirked, "Naw; plaid and loose jeans suit you."

\---

It was the smell that woke him from his drowse. He had to take several whiffs to convince himself he wasn't dreaming of years long gone by before he opened his eyes to stare at Barney in disbelief. "Toad in the hole??"

Barney's head turned from watching the TV, for just a second looking like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "What?"

" *You* make Toad in the hole? Mr. Italian-American who loves all that fine food shit? Since when??"

"I never claimed everything fine was Italian."

'Fine'. Well hell... Thinking about the evening for a bit, Lee finally had to shake his head at both of them. 

And wordlessly shoved at Barney, shifting him back until he could drop himself between his legs, head and back against the solid strength of the man's chest. 

His eyes drifted closed, smiling as Barney's arms wrapped around his chest. "You're just lucky I'm a sucker for your food."

Barney's easy chuckle made him shake, "See? No calling my ring a piece of crap anymore."

Hell.

He reached for Barney's hand, gaudy thing in place even at home, and turned it to swipe his thumb over the grinning face.

\--

Lee's voice was a quiet mutter, thoughtful and hard to catch with the action movie next to them, "Think it'll be lucky enough to keep us together for the next 30 years?"

Had to tug the man closer at that, arms on soft, familiar flannel of his old shirt draped loose around Lee's compact power. Bald dome that Tool had tried more than once to ink resting in easy reach of his lips. 

Bare inch of a headtilt and he could feel the skin's warmth as he muttered right back, "It'll do better than *that*."

"You make *sure* it does."


End file.
